I recently wrote about the manipulative and sexually abusive behavior of some (or many) within the world of esoteric spirituality.
This got me thinking about this type of “leader” and the type that I call “the Warrior-Mystic” (the latter of which I describe in my book The Path of the Warrior-Mystic: Being a Man in an Age of Chaos).
Some people feel that they can go it alone on some esoteric spiritual path. Often, this just leads to stagnation. We need others to grow.
If you want to grow in life or if you want to penetrate the primordial Mysteries of spirituality, at some point, you will need a guide (or several guides). Later, once you have become who you truly should be, you can, and should, guide others.
Here, then, I want to contrast the manipulative cultist leader with the Warrior-Mystic-type leader. I will speak of the male, heterosexual leader but you will easily apply these insights to others.
To see the difference between the cultist leader and the Warrior-Mystic-type leader, we will explore four areas: (1) the leadership role, (2) the relationship of the leader to women, (3) truth, and (4) self-improvement.
The Leadership Role
The Cult Leader:
The manipulative leader gets his authority from his title. He is an “adept,” “hierophant,” “Magister Templi,” etc. He does not exhibit wisdom (or, sometimes, even common sense) appropriate to his status.
Rather, he implies, to others, that it might be possible for them to attain spiritual enlightenment; acquire rare, secret, higher knowledge; or obtain supernatural powers. The only condition is doing whatever they are told, without question.
His vagueness gives him a kind of charisma. We cannot see behind the curtain and, tending to believe what people say, we trust that the cultist leader wouldn’t exaggerate or lie to us. That’s exactly what he’s doing. And our trust is exactly what he’s counting on.
The Warrior-Mystic:
Ever seeking deeper knowledge and understanding, the Warrior-Mystic sees himself as one who goes into the intellectual and spiritual wilderness with his war band. He shares what he knows with them. He points out the traps and pitfalls ahead. But he knows that he cannot know everything. Thus, he listens to others, including those with less experience. He values what others bring to the table.
Thus, the Warrior-Mystic is a man of probing conversation. He wants to get to the depths. Important discussions are journeys to the essence. He wants to talk about the spiritual, God, the gods, the soul, etc., but also lives in the world and respects history, truth, and people with skill and insights. He is, as such, a social creature.
He believes in hierarchy from a practical point of view: Someone knows more, someone is more capable, and someone has to lead the way. Who that is will change with the mission.
Women
The Cult Leader:
Because it is relevant here, I will mention the title of my book one more time: The Path of the Warrior-Mystic: Being a Man in an Age of Chaos. Correct, though nearly everything in it applies to women as well, I wrote this book for men. And I did so because more and more young men, in particular, receive no guidance about being a man.
Sneaky, unmanly men behave sneakily around women. They will talk trash about “men” in general, not because they genuinely empathize with women but to position themselves as better, more caring, and more enlightened than almost all other men. They will condemn “Alpha males” and “masculinity” because they are out-of-shape and prefer to be around women or around men who are subordinate to them.
Their soft and enlightened talk is generally a ruse. Behind closed doors, they will often make advances on their most attractive female disciples (or on any attractive potential disciple). They will imply that sex with them will somehow be a spiritual exchange. (It won’t be.)
If the cult leader is already in a relationship, he will use his status to control the woman he is in a relationship with. His authority comes from God, or the gods, after all. This dynamic is likely to be even more noticeable if the cult leader has little status outside of his spiritual group.
The Warrior-Mystic:
Years ago, when I was very active in a fraternity, I was the secretary for my lodge. I’d have to wear a suit and tie and I would have to stand up and address the members every meeting.
I looked good. I sounded good. I owned the room. It occurred to me that if there had been women present, my chances of getting a girlfriend would have been much higher than it normally was. I also thought to myself: and that’s why I’m glad they are not.
I knew that I had to do some things just for me and for my Brothers. Men have to be around other men, who comport themselves with intelligence, warmth, and self-control, in order to grow. Sometimes, that means women can’t be a part of the picture.
Years later, I was out with another group of men (all of whom were known for their serious interest in esoteric spirituality). We were in a private room at an expensive restaurant in Boston. Although the conversation was initiated by only one of the men, once the waitress left the room all of the others started talking about how attractive she was. (For the record, she wasn’t especially attractive.)
This struck me as inappropriate, creepy, and weak. Being a man requires self-control. There’s a Zen anecdote:
Two monks were walking through the countryside. There was a beautiful woman standing by a river. She asked the monks to help her cross. One of the monks agreed and carried her across the river.
Sometime later, the other monk burst into an angry tirade, telling his Brother that, as monks, they weren’t even supposed to go near a beautiful woman. He chastised his Brother for picking her up. The other monk responded, “I put her down at the river. Why are you still carrying her?”
The Warrior-Mystic has strong male relationships. He feels protective about his male friends. He wants to give them his best advice. He wants to encourage them to be better. And he expects that they will encourage him to be better as well.
He tends to discuss ideas (not people) with his closest male friends. And he seeks their counsel when he needs clarification or a different perspective.
In regard to his woman, he also wants to protect her. He wants to advise and to support her. He wants her to succeed. He wants to discuss ideas with her.
But he also wants her counsel. He wants her to be his closest advisor. He wants her to respect him. But, crucially, he wants to respect her, equally.
The Warrior-Mystic doesn’t use his status or titles to control a woman.
The Warrior-Mystic treats both men and women with respect.
The Warrior-Mystic does not converse about the attractiveness of a woman with other men.
Truth
The Cult Leader:
For the cult leader, there is an absolute truth, and he possesses it. Strangely, though, he will contradict himself, making different claims at different times.
For example, he may promise that if you join his spiritual Order you will be exempt from certain activities. Yet, he will pressure you to engage in them once you have signed up.
He will prohibit some people from saying or doing some things but, claiming a higher authority too complex for us to understand, he will break the rules for himself or for others that he needs to win over.
The Warrior-Mystic:
Seeing himself as living a life of discovering the truth, the Warrior-Mystic has strong opinions but he wants to hear the opinions of others and, more especially, he wants to know why they hold views contrary to him. He wants to evaluate things properly and he wants to learn and to grow.
More plainly, as tough a pill as it can be to swallow, he wants to know when he is wrong.
For him, no philosophy or spiritual system is absolute. He understands that even if a philosophy embodied the absolute truth, over time it would become distorted. Inconvenient aspects would be cut out and it would be reinterpreted to suit the interpreter.
He wants to be honest, and he wants to keep his promises, but he knows that other people have commitments and that he might need to change to accommodate them.
Self-Improvement
The Cult Leader:
The cult leader may have activities that sustain him but that do not challenge or improve him. Sometimes, a cult leader will, for example, engage in physical exercise, such as running. But he will not engage in new activities where he will be a novice around others who are experts.
If, during a conversation, he is introduced to new ideas, he will often try to pose as someone who already knows the subject but he will also minimize it. He might, for example, say “yes!” enthusiastically when some strange, new subject is brought up, but then immediately turn the subject back to one where he is the acknowledged authority.
Cult leaders don’t want to improve themselves. They want to do just enough to impress other people long enough to fool them. Hence, they will generally not listen to other people. And they will generally be out of shape.
The cult leader is a specialist who claims, or continually implies, that his specialist knowledge trumps all others.
The ultimate source of this knowledge is often vague. Or his claims about it might be contradictory.
The Warrior-Mystic:
The Warrior-Mystic is a generalist, or, rather, a “Renaissance Man,” who tries to cultivate and improve himself as a whole: mentally, culturally, spiritually, and physically.
He knows that he isn’t perfect but he wants to be better.
He reads widely and deeply.
He contemplates ideas and life.
He develops his skills.
He believes that there is something bigger than him that he must serve: God, Fate, his calling, his beloved, his country, his family, and so on.
He knows that the strength of the body affects the strength of the mind and the strength of the spirit.
And he knows that he is obligated to develop all three.
Conclusion
We have spoken of “cult leaders” and “Warrior-Mystics.” We could also classify these as “inauthentic leaders” and “authentic leaders.” Here’s what they tell us about leadership:
Authentic leaders inspire others through their example.
They are always working to improve themselves as a whole.
Rather than claiming to possess some unquestionable truth, they are always learning and rethinking their positions.
Deep relationships are important to them.
They treat both men and women with respect.
They help others to help themselves.